A mother has claimed that her active sex life saved her when her husband found a lump in her breast that turned out to be cancer.
Tina Gray, 52, of Aldershot, Hampshire, and her husband Dez, 51, grew closer than ever after making a conscious effort to keep their spark alive as she went through menopause two years ago.
The mother of one explained that she had asked Dez to check her left breast after she thought she felt something unusual and immediately discovered a lump that he was sure wasn’t there before.
It turned out to be a cancerous tumor and Tina said it was warehouse manager Dez’s newfound fame with her breasts that saved her life.
Tina Gray, 52, of Aldershot, Hampshire, credited husband Dez, 51, (pictured) with ‘saving her life’ after discovering a lump in her breast that was diagnosed as cancer
She had surgery to remove a lump in each breast before the cancer spread.
Tina said, “It was such a huge shock when we found the bump—you’re faced with your own mortality for a moment.
“As soon as Dez felt the lump, he knew something wasn’t right.
“I trusted his judgment and went straight to a doctor — after all, who would be more familiar with my breasts than my husband?
Menopause has brought us closer than ever. We became more intimate and Dez became very interested in my breasts, which now means he saved my life.
‘Shout out to the NHS for acting so quickly and to Macmillan for the incredible support, but especially to my husband who I just want to remarry after 20 years of living together.’
Tina started going through menopause in 2020 and found that the change affected many aspects of her body.
Tina explained that Dez had gained a newfound familiarity with her body after they made a conscious effort to keep their sex lives active as her menopause began. Pictured: Tina’s scar after surgery to remove a lump
While sex can be uncomfortable or painful due to menopause, Tina was determined to find ways that wouldn’t drive her and Dez further apart.
Tina said, “When menopause started, it was like going through puberty again, but in reverse.
“I just had to be open with Dez and communicate how I was feeling instead of pushing him away so he would understand what I was going through.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to have sex with him, it’s just that sometimes I couldn’t because it was uncomfortable or even painful.
“We’re not alone anymore, there are plenty of things that can help couples have a sex life during menopause, you just have to look for it!”
“Instead of pushing us apart, it just brought us closer. Our sex life didn’t end, we just had to adapt.’
Tina (pictured) was referred to a breast surgeon after visiting her GP about ‘something strange’ in the same place Dez had been feeling
Dez added: “It all coincided with covid and lockdowns and there was so much to think about when menopause started and it was like, ‘Oh, we don’t need that.’
“We just talked about it, went through it and now it’s good!”
Tina was watching TV one night without a bra when she felt a hard lump just above her nipple as she ran her arm along her left breast.
Concerned, she told her husband that she had felt a lump and asked him to feel her breasts to see if he saw anything unusual.
When Dez pointed out that something felt strange in the exact same spot as Tina, she booked herself in with her primary care physician on August 11, who referred her to a breast surgeon.
Dez said, “We’ve been together for a long time, so I’m well versed in Tina’s upper body geography.
Tina, who was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, was able to clear all the disease before it spread to other parts of her body. Pictured: Tina and Dez
“I was sniffing, like you, and was concerned that there was something unusual in her chest that we felt we should investigate.
“It was scary, the unknown was terrifying. We knew we had to sort it out.’
Tina was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, in which a doctor felt the lump they found in her left breast, as well as a smaller lump in her right breast.
The mother of one had surgery on Oct. 20, during which the nodules were excised and biopsies were taken from her sentinel nodes.
Doctors revealed that Tina had stage one invasive ductal carcenoma in her right breast and stage three in her left.
Thanks to Dez’s quick discovery, they were able to remove all the cancer during the surgery before it spread to other parts of Tina’s body, effectively saving her life.
After recently celebrating their 20th anniversary, Tina (pictured) gushed that she wants to remarry Dez to show him how much she loves him
Tina, who has a 24-year-old son, said: “Going through menopause and then my battle with cancer has brought Dez and I closer than ever.
“I couldn’t have gotten through all of this without my supportive family and the MacMillan nurse who was with me at every appointment. Even with a mask on I could see her eyes smiling at me and it was such a comfort.
“Dez and I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary in October, and now I just want to marry him again — I just want to show him how much I love him.”
Dez added: ‘I feel privileged to have been able to help diagnose, or at least discover, something in my wife’s body that could be potentially life-altering or life-limiting.
“I feel privileged and proud to have been able to help, and it has brought us even closer together.”