Latest Breaking News & Top Headlines

Jamie Lee Curtis Says ‘Hardest’ About Daughter Coming Out Because Trans Didn’t Use ‘Dead Name’

0

Jamie Lee Curtis says the “hardest” thing is adjusting to her daughter Ruby’s coming out as transgender who hasn’t used her new name — and not the one she’d called her all her life.

The 62-year-old actress revealed this summer that her daughter, formerly known as Thomas, had told her and her husband, Christopher Guest, that she is a trans woman and is now going through Ruby.

She now tells People that “tears were involved” when Ruby came out, but she is “a grateful student” when it comes to supporting her daughter.

Curtis admitted that she occasionally “slides” with Ruby’s pronouns, though Ruby said she’s never “crazy” when that happens, because she knows her mom is doing her best.

“It speaks a new language,” she said. ‘It’s learning new terminology and words. I’m new to it. I’m not one to pretend to know a lot about it. And I’m going to blow it, I’m going to make mistakes. I want to try to avoid big mistakes.’

Jamie Lee Curtis says the ‘hardest’ part is adjusting to her daughter Ruby’s coming out as transgender not using her new name, not the one she’s called her all her life

Ruby, a video editor for a video game personality on YouTube, said she knew she was different when she was about 16, but a negative experience in therapy didn’t work out “when I probably should have done that.” ‘.

It wasn’t until a few years ago, when she was still hanging out with Tom and dating her now-fiance, that she first admitted she might be trans.

Her fiancé said, “I love you for who you are.”

So last summer she had gathered the courage to tell her parents, admitting it was “scary” and “intimidating,” even though she wasn’t afraid they wouldn’t accept her. She had already used the word “bi” to describe herself, and they had always been helpful.

When she broke the news, Curtis said there were “tears involved.” But while she’d never had the idea before that Ruby was trans, looking back, she could see some signs — like how Ruby would use a female avatar while gaming.

The hardest adjustment, she said, is not using Ruby’s “dead name.” But she admitted that it “doesn’t fit anymore.”

Family: Ruby (left) — formerly known as Thomas — is a video game editor, and Curtis and Guest also have a 34-year-old daughter, Annie, (second from left) who is a dance instructor.  The family can be seen here at the 2018 Halloween Kills premiere

Family: Ruby (left) — formerly known as Thomas — is a video game editor, and Curtis and Guest also have a 34-year-old daughter, Annie, (second from left) who is a dance instructor. The family can be seen here at the 2018 Halloween Kills premiere

Ruby (left) attended the 2012 premiere of Wreck-It Ralph with Curtis

Ruby (left) attended the 2012 premiere of Wreck-It Ralph with Curtis

‘That was of course the hardest. Just the regularity of the word,’ she said.

“The name you gave a child. You’ve been saying that all their lives. And that was of course the challenge in the first place. Then the pronoun. My husband and I still slip out every now and then.

“You slow down your speech a little bit. You become a little more aware of what you are saying. How you say it. You’re still screwing up, I messed up twice today. We’re people,’ she said.

Ruby doesn’t get “angry” when her parents make a mistake and acknowledge that her mother “did your very best, and that’s all I want.”

Curtis also insisted that she not “proselytize” by sharing her family’s story or “trying to force people into something.”

“I just say, ‘This is our family’s experience.’ I’m here to support Ruby. That’s my job,” she said.

Curtis said she knows she's going to

Curtis said she knows she’s going to “mess it up” and “make mistakes” by adjusting to this “new language,” though Ruby said she’s never “crazy” when her mom slips (Curtis imagined that Ruby in 1996 as a baby)

Ruby admitted she was

Ruby admitted she was “scared” of coming out and Curtis said there were “tears involved” (pictured at the premiere of “One Piece Film: Gold” on January 5, 2017)

Curtis, who also shares a 34-year-old daughter named Annie with her husband, first spoke about Ruby’s coming out in an interview with AARP magazine in July.

Curtis said she and her husband ‘watched our son with wonder and pride’ – formerly known as Thomas – “became our daughter Ruby.”

In the interview, which was conducted with Ruby’s permission, Curtis explained that she has thrown away the “old idea” that gender is fixed and instead leans on the idea that life is a “constant metamorphosis.”

The actress has previously expressed support for transgender people for several years and shared a Huffington Post article on Twitter in 2017: “Dear trans kids. The letter we all wish we had written. (from a translator).’

Last year she also signed on to direct and star in a TV movie about GLAAD Media Institute alumnus Sara Cunningham. Cunningham is the founder of Free Mom Hugs, which celebrates the LGBTQIA+ community. She also spoke excitedly about Ruby’s upcoming wedding.

Curtis’s kids are private — and have only attended a handful of events with their mom — but Ruby gave her mom permission to share two personal information with AARP, the other being her upcoming wedding.

Curtis also insisted that she doesn't

Curtis also insisted that she doesn’t “proselytize” by sharing her family’s story or “trying to force people into something” (pictured in 2016)

“She and her fiancé are getting married next year at a wedding I will be leading,” the Halloween star said.

Curtis didn’t say whether Ruby is marrying a man or woman, although Ruby shared a photo with a friend in 2019.

Gender and sexuality are two different and unrelated things, and Curtis has previously spoken out about the latter as a private matter.

“I don’t think it’s anyone’s business as far as people’s sexuality is, to be quite honest,” she told Pride Source in 2019, in response to a question about her own sexuality and her advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community.

While she thinks sexuality is “no one’s business, it doesn’t matter,” she makes an exception if “you pass anti-gay laws but are gay. I fully accept that I am sidelining those people for the hypocrisy.’

Curtis, the daughter of movie stars Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh, said she grew up comfortably among gay people thanks to her Hollywood parents.

Curtis also revealed that Ruby (left) will marry her fiancé next year.  Curtis didn't share details of Ruby's husband-to-be, though Ruby did share a photo with a friend in 2019 (right)

Curtis also revealed that Ruby (left) will marry her fiancé next year. Curtis didn’t share details of Ruby’s husband-to-be, though Ruby did share a photo with a friend in 2019 (right)

‘[My mother’s] makeup artist was gay, the playwright she did a play with was a good friend of our family who was gay,” she explained.

But, she added: “You don’t have to have your own experience to feel compassion and the need for justice and equality.

“In the LGBTQ world, I certainly have friends and family, but I don’t need to have the direct experience to feel the compassion I really feel for acceptance and equality in all areas.”

Curtis and Guest struggled with infertility and adopted their eldest, Annie, in 1986 through an agency. Nine years later, they adopted Ruby.

In 1996, Curtis wrote a book, Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born, to emphasize the importance of sharing birth stories with adopted children.

She also told AARP that she has hopes that one day she will become a grandmother. When asked if she already has grandchildren, she said: “Not yet, but I hope so.”

.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.